we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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