Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
FUCK WHALES
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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