The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
