Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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