i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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