i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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