The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
FUCK WHALES
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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