Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
