meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
