Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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