That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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