make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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