i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
