lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
