Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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