lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
