There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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