I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
