So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
