Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
