Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
