hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
