I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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