i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
