I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
