Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
