I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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