Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
