I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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