I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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