how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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