Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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