Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
