Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
