wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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