my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
