I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
