yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
