The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize