I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
