yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
