Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
