I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
