my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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