I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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