what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Everclear isn't food dammit
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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