You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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