): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
