She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
two words...techno handjob
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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