Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
