I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
