Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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