He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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