My brain says no but my pants say off.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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