Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
