Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize