Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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