wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
