is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
