With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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