youre lurking in front of me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Randomize
