so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
