Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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