Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize