I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
